Coming to Terms

I was listening to Tim and Stuart play with the Star Wars figures yesterday and as I heard one of them issuing demands for a surrender, I thought 'The correct answer is 'death first!'...

That answer works for the Dread Pirate Roberts and for Star Wars figures in mock battles; it does not answer when the issue is the limitations for my mobility, thought processes/memory and pain level.

I'm essentially still in denial about the enormity of my situation and people are trying to assist us in gaining perspective.

Some realisations:

- I cling to unrealistic goals, and so have many projects that I can never finish.

- We are over-committed until we can establish a schedule that accommodates our combined capabilities.

- We need to eliminate the impossible to accomplish the necessary.

- I have to be content with how I perceive all of this.

- Playing 'Airplane', working on ladders and other hard physical tasks will incapacitate me for a week of profound pain. Period.

- We cannot rely upon my memory.

- We will have to better coordinate help with things, with humility and grace.

- My pain and coordination may never improve and will likely become more degraded.

- None of this changes the ultimate Truth that we are blessed beyond belief by God's grace. Our friends are steadfast and compassionate while still managing to respect my dignity.