Clever Answers

Are you seriously asking me that?


For any question posed in a job interview: Preface each question with "Okay, I'll play your silly, little game..."

When pulled over by the police: "Is that a real gun?" "Can I see it?" "Pleeeease?"

Anytime a clerk asks "May I have your name please?" "No, my mom gave it to me a long time ago, you'll have to get your own."

When the Maitre De asks if you have reservations: "Yeah, some but the good restaurants all had a long wait so we'll have to eat here anyway."

When someone says that "I've never seen you here, are you new? " No, I'm 45."

When someone asks "Is anyone sitting here?" Say "Let me check." Then get up and feel the space above the chair and answer. "No, it doesn't seem so."

When someone asks if the treats in the bowl on your desk are for anyone: Pick one out and offer it, saying "Sure, do you wanna fetch, or do you prefer to play dead?"